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Matchweek two brought goals, shocks and one very determined bus. Chelsea put five past Manchester United, with Lauren James adding the pick of the bunch, while Manchester City cruised past Villa 4–1. Arsenal somehow turned 30 attempts and nearly 80% possession into a 0–0 draw as Crystal Palace defended like their lives depended on it. Brighton staged the weekend’s best escape act, coming from 2–0 down against Birmingham and equalising with virtually the final kick. Elsewhere, West Ham and Everton collected narrow wins, while Liverpool and Spurs shared the points. Seven matches, 20 goals, and a timely reminder that football remains stubbornly uninterested in following the script.